Death at First Sight
by theunluckyone
Summary: What happens if Edward did kill Bella that first time they met in Biology? Or so he thought.
1. 1 Holding Back

**Death at First Sight**

Chapter 1 (Edwards's point of view)

As my hands gripped the edge of the table as I tried to force myself to stay in the chair. The wood was no help thought. My hands crushed the table and I was left with a handful of splinters. Quickly I pulverized the edges, leaving a ragged hole and a pile of shavings on the floor. I knew what would happen now. She would have to sit beside me, and I would have to kill her. The rest of the class, innocent bystanders could not be allowed to leave after seeing what would happen. I would have to destroy the evidence; they would just be collateral damage I tried to convince myself. I flinched at that thought. Never in my too long existence had I killed innocents. And now I planned to slaughter twenty of them at once. That thought alone almost stopped me, but her blood was to strong I knew I could not resist it for long. In just a few short seconds she would sit down just inches away from me. Causing the monster in my head to smile in anticipation.

If I killed the girl first, I would only have 15 or 20 seconds with her before the humans in the room would react. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I would give this stranger with her horribly desirable blood that sang to me.

I would have to stop the others from escaping. There was only one realistic exit, the door- if I blocked that they would be trapped. I would have to move fast, very fast so no one had time to scream otherwise if someone heard I would be forced to killed more innocents in this black hour. And her blood would cool, while I murdered the others.

Her scent was punishing me; I had to stop breathing and try to think. I would have to get rid of the witnesses first. As I calculated she kept sneaking glances at me. This made it worse to keep my mind focused. I estimated I could snap five necks per second. I would be quiet and short and most it would take five seconds to end every life in this room. Just long enough for her to see what was coming for her. And long enough for her to feel fear.

As someone opened the door a wave of unscented air wafted across my face, allowing me to think clearly for one short second. In that second I saw two faces in my head, one was the face of what I had become all those years ago, of what I was so tempted to become again now; the red-eyed monster that had killed so many people that I'd stopped counting their numbers. What at the time I saw as justified murders. I told myself I was a killer of other, less powerful monsters. Which although in a way that was true, but when I looked back on that my personal dark ages I thought "who am I to decide who deserved a death sentence".

The other face was Carlisle's. They were so different, there was no resemblance. One was the bright day and the other blackest night. As I watched Carlisle's face I saw that even though he never said or thought it around me that when I came back, my eyes stained with the blood of my victims that he saw disappointed with me. This in all honesty was the worst reaction, I would rather he had shouted at me and refused me back into his family, but instead he welcomed me back with open arms and never said anything. I could still tell he thought this would never happen again, he thought I was better than I was. And he would still love me even after I now proved him wrong. I would prove Carlisle wrong about me. This fact almost hurt as much as the fire in my throat.

Why had she come here! I did not what to become the monster I had been again. I did not did not want to kill a room full of innocents, nor did I want to lose everything I had gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial. But her blood was to strong, I knew I could not last much longer.

**_[This is my first FanFiction so would love to hear any feedback. I will try to update as soon as possible, but if it takes a while I apologise but I do have some important exams soon so I should do some revision. I will not upload anymore chapters until I get at least 5 reviews or 50 views, so hurry up the next chapter is ready to be uploaded.]_**

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_(I do not own Twilight- Parts of this chapter and this chapter only are taken from Mindnight Sun the rest of the chapters are made up by me)_


	2. 2 Blood Lust

**[READ THIS: I will not post anymore chapters until I get at least 10 reviews (don't think thats someone else will review do it your self then the next chapter will be out soon!!!) so hurry up the next chapter is almost done]**

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Chapter 2 

Another wave of air came in through the open window, but this time it was no help, as her scent was mingled in the air. As I caught her sent it took all my control not to kill her then, but instead I ran out of the room, the speed a which I ran was much faster than any human could run but at this point I was beyond caring. A few seconds later I heard Mr Banner ask Miss Swan to see if I was ok. I felt think screaming, why did he have to do this to me, did he want me to kill her or something.

As I heard her coming down the corridor I knew I should have run, run and never come back but her blood was to tempting. She was about to ask me something when I pounced. I gave her no time to scream or cry out for help. As I sank my teeth into her soft neck and felt her warm, intoxicating blood run down my throat, causing the fire in my throat to be quenched. I was amazed her blood was so much better than anything else I had ever had. I could not believe I had not been aware of her before today. I felt that I should have been able to smell her from miles away, as if I had this day would have come so much sooner.

I had almost drained her when I felt two sets of hands grab me and force me away from her. I tried in vain to get back and finish her off but I knew it was pointless. As Emmett and Rosalie forced me to the wall whilst I snarled at them, Jasper played his mind tricks on me and made me calm down. For an instant I was surprised that Jasper could be this close to human blood without feeding, then I noticed that Alice had a strong hold on him just encase he should be tempted as I had been. But that was before I look, I mean really looked at what I had done. I was a monster. I had murdered Isabella Swan and yes I had killed many times before but this time my family had seen me and what I was truly capable of. I was so ashamed at what I had done, I felt like running again running and never returning to this town or my family. I knew I could not though I would hurt Carlisle and Esme to much, and I had already caused more than enough suffering for one day. So I would stay, for now at least.

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**[Sorry its a short one, but still hope you like it. Again I will not post anymore chapters until I get at least 10 reviews (I don't think thats to much to ask for) so hurry up the next chapter is almost done] [Please take part in my poll]**


	3. 3 Run Away

**Chapter 3 (Edward's point of view)**

As I calmed down and had realised what I had done, I convinced Emmett and Rosalie to let me go. Then I ran through the school as fast as I could to my Volvo with Emmett hot on my heels and raced to the hospital. I needed to get away for a while; I knew Carlisle and Esme would be disappointed with me, because of what had happened at the school, it would also mean we would most probably have to leave this town. I wished we would not have to, not for my sake by my families, as it was not long before we would have to move on again anyway and I knew how much everyone liked it here. None of us wanted to leave but if had had better self control at least we could have stayed a few more months and finished our time at this school. I hoped my family would understand and let me go, I would come back I just needed a week or so away from my family and this town. I thought I might go to Denali and visit Tanya, Kate and Irina. I just needed to see some people who knew me but not what I had just done.

As I was driving to the hospital I could hear Emmett's thoughts, so I had been right. They did not trust me to go on my own, and to be honest I could not blame them. I was trying to block them out as I pulled into the car park. As soon as I was there I ran as fast as I could, given that I was in a public place, to find Carlisle.

When I found him he did not try to ask me why I wanted his car or where I was going, I guess he could tell something had happened just by the look on my face. I am glad he never challenged me as I do not know what would have happened, what ever it was it would have be bad. I told him that Alice would explain everything later, and that I was sorry, but would come home as soon as I could. Then I turned and sprinted just a bit too fastc ompared to how a normal human would have been able to, and as I came out of the hospital I roared at Emmett to go back to the school as I was leaving for a while.

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**[I know it is very short but this is just a good place to finish the chapter and I really should do some revision :-( hope you enjoy it even if it is short. Thankyou especially to_ demon-inside-me-666_ , _ravenGirl2468_ , _nissa0909_ , _twubbz199121, hauntedpumpkin56_ , _krissy_ and _angelplusbuffyequals4ever_ ****for all your great comments :-).]**

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	4. 4 Sun Set Fight

**Chapter 4**

By the time I had arrived at Denali it was late and the sun was just setting the sky was ablaze with a combination of fiery red and flaming orange, magnified by the still icy lake. I was just starting to wonder if I should have called before my sudden arrival when Tanya emerged from the trees. From what she told me I could easily guess that Alice had rang ahead of me, telling them to expect my immanent arrival.

I was sure she was hiding something from me. It was most probably something to do with the way she was translating the Spanish Armada speech made by Queen Elizabeth I into Arabic, backwards. Alice is the only person who does that sort of thing, so she must have told Tanya what had happened earlier and how to keep out of her head. I would have to have words with Alice when I got back; I really hate it when she does that to me.

Tanya was just standing there, did she think I did not know she was there or something. I hadn't said anything or acknowledged her presence but she had to know I could hear her (in more ways than one). It had been a very long day and I was already in a bad mood, but with her just standing there translating that stupid speech made me lose it completely. Before I knew what I was doing I had spun around, dive at her and was now attacking her. A few short seconds later I felt two pairs of hands grab me and hurl me into a tree (I do hope this is not going to become a daily occurrence). Once I got slowly to my feet, I was a bit calmer, I realised it was Irena and Kate who had drugged me off their sister. I knew I should not have been surprised, but I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts to expect them to turn up. Once I was more in control of myself I turned and ran back through the forest. Thankfully they did not follow me.

Perhaps this had been a bad idea. Would it have been better if I had stayed in Forks, and seen the consequences of my actions?

I had been running the entire night, and dawn was just breaking as I stopped and shot up a tree to watch the sun rise. Even in this fowl mood and after 100 years I still find sun rises stunning. As I sat and watched I heard a rustling from one of the nearby trees. I knew it was Kate, but I just ignored her. Part of me hoped she would leave if I said nothing. But instead she came and sat next to me, and watched the sun rise. It was nice, we did not talk, but I liked not being on my own or being with someone who would judge me (as I felt I should be). After all I had just murdered and innocent girl, whose blood now stained my eyes, and then I attack her sister. Yet her thoughts were clear, not hiding anything. I found it strangely relaxing.

I stayed in Denali for only a few more days after that. I had hardly spoken to Kate, Tanya or Irina. Tanya seemed to take this very personally. But it was nice just knowing I was not alone. I would have liked to stay longer but ever since in left Forks I had been feeling weird. As If I was being drawn back there. It was nothing like I had ever felt before. As if I had left something very important behind. And I wanted to find out what this was.

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**[Had loads of free time today so wrote the next chapter, hope you like it. If you think it different it's probably as I was not in the best mood ever when I wrote it so that is most probably why Edward attacked Tanya for no apparent reason. - Please review if you want the next chapter to be posted!. Thankyou to _Krissy_ for noticing my mistake I forgot thanks I've now changed it. – (Keep the reviews coming in I love to hear from you, more review the sooner the next chapter will be out!)]**

**[Please take part in my poll]**

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_hauntedpumpkin56 - Yes I am definitely sure this is my first story. Glad everyone is enjoying it as I always thought I was awful at this sort of thing._


	5. 5 Chief Swan

Chapter 5

The journey back to Forks seemed to take forever, even though I was pushing the Mercedes as hard as I could. The engine was making a terrible whining noise, which was starting to worries me as usually all you can hear fro the car is a soft purr. I was terrified I was not going to make the journey home, and would have to dump the car and make a run for it (which would really not impress Carlisle.) When I heard a siren racing up the road behind me.

"Terrific, this is just what I bloody needed" I growled. I was debating whether to just ignore it when I recognised the face in the driver's seat.

"Well at least I know am almost home" I thought sadly. I knew this would be bad if I did not stop, but then again it might just be worse if I did,

As I slowed the car to a halt, I was desperately wracking my brains to try and make up some plausible excuse for me being in my father's car at night driving down a country road and going at nearly 200mph. This would be interesting at the very least. Why is it I never got caught speeding before, and now when I do get caught I was in such a frenzy to get home. Typical isn't it.

Once I had stopped the car, one of the last people I could face right now got out of their police cruiser. It was Police Chief Charlie Swan, the father of the girl I only days before callously murdered. Obviously it would be him; it would have to be wouldn't it.

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"CARLISLE CULLEN WHAT THE H..." Charlie yelled at the car as he started his way over to me. I had been so preoccupied I had forgotten he could not tell I was driving, as the car had very dark tinted windows.

"This could make things difficult" I thought as I slowly rolled down the car window.

"Oh it's you is it" Charlie pat at me. Somehow he managed to make that a threat. I could tell he did not think he had anything to do with his daughter's disappearance. "Poor man" I thought "he does not know she's dead, and because of me". I was just debating whether I should say something about that when Charlie exploded again at me.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL D O YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING? YOU WERE GOING AT OVER 180MPH AND AT NIGHT, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE"

"Yer I have, your daughter" I grimly thought.

"AND IN YOUR FATHERS CAR! WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT THIS HE WILL BE FURIOUS" I could not argue with that, Carlisle was going to be outraged. "DOES HE EVEN KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HIS CAR?" Charlie continued yelling at me like that for about 10 minutes, which was actually useful, as it gave me some time to try and make a believable excuse.

I then noticed it had been quiet for some time and then saw Charlie was looking like he would explode again. What had he just said?

"I'm sorry Chief Swan, but I did not catch that last part" I sais nervously, I could not believe it. I was scared of a human, what was going on.

"I said what do you have to say for yourself" Charlie said, as if he were speaking to someone who was rather slow, I guess I must be coming across that way at the moment though. Although it was obvious he was attempting to calm himself down (where's Jasper when you need him?).

"I erm well I was err in a bit of a rush to get home" I rather weakly mumbled. I knew he was not fooled. So I tried again "You see my erm sister had left her tablets at home and we were in Seattle so I decided to go home and err fetch her medication" I hoped that would do the trick. If he did believe it he would no doubt follow me home so I would have to get a message to Alice or Rose to hide until I had left again. I heard Charlie trying to decide what to do; I could tell he did not believe a word I had just said. I could not blame him though; everyone seemed to know the Cullen family never got ill. Then I heard his decision. Oh God! Carlisle is going to kill me, and Emmett he will never left me forget this, and Esme she will be so embarrassed by this.

"Well if that were true why are you on your own? Surely it would make more sense for you to drive your sister home or to hospital!! Once Charlie had said that I was completely dumfounded. I could not think of anymore excuses. So gave up. "Seeing as you seem to have run out of excuses, you can come back to the station with me" said a suddenly smug Charlie. I always knew he never really liked me. As I got out of Carlisle's car I was trying to think of a way to explain this to my family. After all every on in our family speeded except for Carlisle and Esme. Who thought just because we were no longer human does not mean we can ignor human laws. And none of us had ever been caught over the many, many decades of our existences. This was going to be a difficult one.

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**[Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review if you want me to publish more chapters. Will try to get the next chapter done over the weekend but will be hard as have school on sunday :-( for an open day (great what fun! lol) PLEASE REVIEW] **

**[Please take part in my poll]**

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Just started a new Twilight story - Morte Prima Del Mezzogiorno - please read it and review, want to know what people think of it.[It is very different from Death at First Sight]


	6. 6 Home Again

Chapter 6

After a very slow journey to the station (Charlie was obviously trying to prove something by travelling 10mph under the speed limit all the way), I had the fun job of calling Carlisle and Esme to ask (well beg was more accurate) them to get me out of here. As Charlie was trying to find a way he could legally lock me up for the rest of the night. As the phone rang I tried to collect my thoughts and find a way for Carlisle not to be furious at me.

"Hello" I said a little apprehensively into the phone.

"Hey there little brother, where the hell have you been, Carlisle would not tell us a thing" It was Emmett, great this could take a while.

"I've been in Denali, can I talk to Carlisle"

"Where are you now then?

"Just put Carlisle on please"

"Not until you tell me"

"I'll tell you late, just put Carlisle on"

"Edward!" Emmett warned me.

"Fine, I'm at the station. Now PUT Carlisle ON" I yelled at Emmett. At the other end I heard a great crash as Emmett dropped the phone and started to laugh uncontrollably. "EMMETT!" I bellowed down the phone which cut his booming laughter off.

"Sorry, I'll get Carlisle" Emmett snorted at me.

"Edward" Carlisle said sounding worried "Where are you? I couldn't get a straight answer from Emmett"

"Hi, err yer I'm kind of at the police station in Forks" I said, I paused waiting for Carlisle to shout at me or something, but it never came.

"Ok I'll be down in a few minutes to get you out. Are you ok? I knew Carlisle did not mean if I'm ok at the station but I did not want to talk about it yet.

"Yer I'm ok, see you in a bit" I casually said and put down the receiver.

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Once Carlisle got home, he thankfully managed to persuade Charlie to let me go with just a warning this time. As we drove back to the house we did not speak. I could tell there was something wrong. Partly because I hadn't got a big road safety speech yet, and Carlisle was trying to block his thoughts from me. I did try to get Carlisle to talk about what was bothering him, but he just said "Everything will be explained later". After getting the same reaction from him five times I gave up and stared out of the window the rest of the journey. I was a bit surprised he did not try and ask me how I was or what I had been doing for the last week. But we just sat in silence.

**[Sorry it's a short one but I've been very busy and this is just a good place to leave it – ****PLEASE REVIEW****]**


	7. 7 Blame

**Chapter 7**

Once back at the house I raced through the door and was about to shout for Alice when I was stopped in my tracks by the look on Esme's face. It was somewhere between overwhelming joy and crushing sorrow.

"Carlisle what's wrong? What happened?" I called in the direction of the car. In the living room Esme, Rosalie and Emmett sat looking very gloomy.

"They're gone" Esme whispered, through dry sobs.

"Who?" I asked, Emmett thought I was being very slow and almost let out a laugh. Then I saw it in his mind, who was missing 'they're gone'. That can not be right; I mean why would they leave?

Carlisle stood in the door looking sombre "Alice and Jasper have left us. They never came back from the school the day you…" he trailed off at the end not wanting to recall what had happened.

At that I slid down the wall, the pain and loss in the room was getting unbearable. "Why?" I whispered more to myself but I still got an answer.

"They never said anything. They just left after they stopped you…" Carlisle trailed off again. "They never went back to class after that. So we have no idea where they are or if they intend to ever return, I'm sorry" he said glancing at me.

"I'M SORRY. BUT I CAN NOT DO THIS ANYMORE" Rosalie cried out "WE ALL KNOW WHY THEY LEFT. IF YOU HADN'T… AND I DON'T BLAME THEM EITHER! YOU SHOUD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO LEAVE FOR GOOD, NOT THEM! THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING" Rosalie yelled, staring accusingly at me.

"Rose, please don't…" sniffed Esme, holding back the sobs.

"No, its fine Esme" I said "I would not be surprised if that is why they left and I would not blame them either. If I thought it would make them come back I would never have come back. But they will not know if I leave, and how do you know if I do leave they would return? But if you want me to leave I of course will."

"NO" Carlisle and Esme growled, looking at Rosalie, daring her to argue.

"We have already lost two members of this family; I will not let anyone else tear us apart. Unless you want to leave, then we will not stop you" said Carlisle looking at me, adding in his mind "please Edward, don't go. You can see how much this is hurting Esme and myself. If you leave I don't know if we can hold this family together for much longer. I'm sure Rose and Emmett are glad your back, they just have an odd way of showing it", he continued glaring at Rosalie "and no one will force anyone else to leave!"

This caused Rosalie to storm off with Emmett following her, but adding in his mind "I'm glad you back. Rose does to but she just misses Alice and Jaz. Don't do anything stupid" This caused me to smile a bit. Yer right Rose, glad I'm back, if only Emmett could read her mind as I could, it would make him blush, which is not easy with him being a vampire and all that. Ever since I stepped back in this house she's been screaming profanities at me, some of which I'd never even heard I my 100 years. I honestly don't know where she gets them from.

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**[Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Last one for some time as will not be writing untill I finish my exams (sorry but A levels come first). Please review.]**

_(Thankyou to everyone who has review so far. If you review this chapter then leave you first name and it could get a part in this story)_

_{Found a very funny story I can highely recomend - Family Thearpy Cullen Style - It is pure genius.}_


	8. 8 Rebirth

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[I'm sorry this chapter took ages to come out but I have been busy with school work and revision for exams (oh what fun), but decided to take some time off and wrote this. I hope you enjoy it. Please Review. ]

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**Chapter 8**

_Edwards Point of View_

After our short reunion I left, not for good as I thought I should, as I knew that would devastate Carlisle and Esme. I had not fed since that terrible day, I should have but I guess I hoped if I did not hunt my eyes would change faster. But they didn't. That was over a week ago and my eyes were still a vivid red. The thirst was starting to get unbearable again so I went hunting and to give my family some space.

I was not long gone when I picked up the sent of Alice and Jasper. It was not an old trail but a new one it could not be more that a few hours old. So that meant they were still close by, but why had no one found them then? Then I realised there was something wrong with it there was another sent mixed in with theirs. Another vampire and not one I recognised. It could be one of their friends I had not met or a nomad, but I had the same feeling I had had I Denali when I smelt it. The feeling of being pulled somewhere, like I lost something and it was calling for me. I had the urge to follow this new sent, but I forced myself to stop. If it was something to do with Alice and Jasper and they were trying to hide so should I force myself upon them? They would come back when and if they were ready.

I had not been out long and never got a chance to hunt, but I knew if I was near that unknown scent for much longer I would follow it. Which I could not do, seeing as it seemed to be something to do with Alice and Jasper; who wanted to be left alone. The cloud cover was also disappearing, and I did not want there to be any chance of being seen in the sun. I had been the source of more than enough conflict in my family, I did not want to make it worse that it was already.

As I headed back to the house through the forest, it was eerily silent. When I was in the forest I could usually hear all the animals moving around, but know I could not hear any signs of life. It was then that I saw it, I was just 4 minutes away from the house. After what had happened I would recognise it anywhere. It was snagged on a tree and emanating from it was that intoxicating sent. To many people it would just be a simple blue hooded jacket and would not mean much. But to me it made me feel and overwhelming sense of guilt. The sent coming off it also made the fire at the back of my throat burn almost uncontrollably, but I tried to ignore that. How did it get here? The last time I saw it was when I murdered its wearer, just over a week ago. It could have belonged to someone else if it had not been for that over-powering delectable torturous scent was exactly how I remembered it. It was not a perfume that could be faked; it had to be her, but how? She was dead, murdered by my hand; I had all but drained her dry. I shuddered involuntarily at recalling what I had done.

As I took in another deep breath of that delicious scent I caught other more familiar scents mixed in with it. I was sure I caught a bit of Alice and Jaspers scents on it. So was this why they had suddenly disappeared? Why would they have her jacket? And why would they leave it here? Unless I thought; what if they had more than her jacket? As I recalled what had happened that day. I almost drained her, almost. Did that mean by some miracle they had saved her? Carlisle had said they left right after I did, saying nothing. But how could they have saved her, it was just not possible. Even Carlisle would not have been able to save her and he was they best doctor ever, since he had been around for quite some time and had better eye sight/hearing/memory than any human doctor. Then it hit me, I was being stupid. They had saved her in a way, Rose and Emmett must have dragged me off her, leaving her enough blood and venom to be turned. Alice and Jasper must have realised this and hidden her so she could not hurt anyone, is that why they left so suddenly?

No, this could not be true. My family would have noticed if there was a newborn running around the forest, this close to the house. Also how would Alice and Jasper be able to stop her from killing anyone? But then again if my family had not been paying attention because of what had happened would they notice? After all the only reason I suspected this is because of that scent (which only meant something to me) and jacket. As much as I can not believe she is alive somehow, after this jacket and the same scent being around the forest mixed with Alice and Jaspers what other explanation is there?

_Bella's Point of View [about a week ago]_

"Miss Swan, would you please go and see what is wrong with Mr Cullen and tell him to come back to class." Mr Banner asked me. Why me? I thought was it not obvious to the man that for some unexplained reason Edward hated me. From the first time he saw me he was giving me murderous glares, then 10 minutes into the lesson he sprints out. That is after he all but destroyed the desk. I mean how can he be that strong? It is just not normal.

As I rounded the corner I heard a low growly that made my skin crawl, then Edward was next to me. He moved to fast and his skin it was so very cold and as hard as marble. I tried to speak but as I looked into his face my attention was drawn to his eyes, they were black, like a bottomless pit I lost myself in. I was suddenly yanked back into reality when I felt a fierce burning at my neck where Edward was… wait as he biting me? The pain was unbearable, I collapsed and he fell with me never releasing my neck. I tried to scream but all my energy was gone. I was then plunged into complete darkness, not expecting to wake ever again. What kind of monster is he? For these are not the actions of any man.

In the darkness I had no sense of time passing, but it must have but how long? When I started to wake I was aware of a strange sensation. It was as if I was moving too fast, I could feel the wind whipping my hair around my face, but I knew it could not be me who was running. After a short time I started to feel a set of strong arms holding me close to a hard cold body. Could it be him again, that monster who I believed had killed me. I could not hold onto consciousness for much longer, so gave up fighting and let the darkness envelope me once again. Little did I know that that was the last time I would ever sleep.

I had no idea how much time had passed since I last woke. But now I was brought out of my uneasy slumber by a terrible pain. It felt as if y whole body were on fire. I could feel my heart racing 100 beats per minute. If it could I am sure it would leap right out of my chest. I wanted to scream, I needed to so badly, to do anything that might help this fire subside. But I could not move a muscle or make a sound. I do not know how long I was like that for, , and I was aware of very little for a very long time. When the fire started to die down after what felt like an eternity, I started to become aware of my surroundings. I was no longer on the move but had been laid down. Every so often I would hear people talking in low urgent voices. I still could not speak, but oh how much I wanted to, so I could tell whoever they were to put an end to this torture and kill me. For this pain was agonizing. Even thought I was know aware the fire was fading from my arms and legs it seemed to burn even more fericly in my chest. Why would these people leave me to suffer, could they not see my pain? They continued talking but I was starting to be able to pick out fragments of their conversation.

"Its almost finished…calm her" one of the people said, a female I think. Her voice was musical and yet it was full of concern and fear.

"Get out of here, I don't…hurt you…please go" another person said. I was sure that was a man, he had a slight accent, Texas possibly.

"Don't you start… I will…go, just calm… it's soon" the female said. I had no idea what they were going on about. Although I doubt it helps if you can only catch parts of a conversation.

It happened so suddenly, if I had not been in so much pain before I would not have noticed it. My heart stopped beating and at that same moment the pain ceased. What did it mean? Was I finally dead? But no I could not be dead. Somehow I could sense I could move again and most probably talk as well. As I felt a pair of strong hand hold me down, my eyes shot open. I did not feel terror like I knew I should but an immense sense of calm washed over me. I knew this emotion was not mine, so how could I feel it?

As I was held down by a tall blond man, who had eyes just as dark as I remember Edwards being and covered in crescent shaped scar's, the woman bent over me.

"Don't panic Isabella, your ok now" she said kindly to me, how did she know my name? She in contract to this strange man was very short with short spiky black hair, with the same black eyes.

"I prefer Bella" I stated. The sound of the voice than came from me made me to jump, which caused the man to strengthen his grip on me. The voice which came from me was nothing like my voice, it was more like the woman's it was musical, nothing like mine.

"Ok Bella, I'm Alice and this is Jasper" she said. "We are both so sorry about what you have been through; we both went through the same thing a long time ago. I promise to explain things soon. But first you need to feed"

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**[So how did I do? Hope you enjoyed it. My longest chapter so far! Bella came back :-)****, how should Edward and Bella meet again? I'm not sure, anyone one got an idea, would love to here all suggestions – you never know it could use yours. PLEASE REVIEW if you want more of the story. Not sure when will post again as I have my A levels in just over a week (help!!!). Don't forget to take part in my poll; I have added some other ideas.]**

**[Review Please - _if you don't how will I know if you like the story, I might just give up_.]**

_For some people who seem to be confused (Amanda) chapters 9 & 10 were just notes about a new story and a poll._


	9. My Isabell

**A/N - This is a poem written when Edward found out that Bella had jumped of the cliff and thought she was dead. Please Review. (I know it has nothing to do with the story.)**

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My Isabell

As I gazed into the starry sky,

I wondered is this how it feels to die.

For I can not live without my love,

But can I love if I do not live.

She is somewhere far from here,

I wonder does she fear,

What I may do without her here.

As I gaze into the starry sky,

And wish I were to die.

She gave up the fight,

As I reflect on that fateful night,

And as I write,

If it meant she could return,

I would gladly burn.

In the deepest pits of hell,

For my love, my life,

My Isabell.

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**So what do you think of the little poem, hope you liked it as I have never been great at poetry but thought I'd try something different – Please Comment as I want to know how I did. Thanks for reading. **

**I have not given up on this story but been busy lately so will get back to it as soon as possible.**


	10. 9 Not Again

Chapter 9

I was almost back at the house and still trying to think of what to tell my family. As I said I would be gone for an hour or two, and that was yesterday. How was I supposed to tell them that I thought she was know one of us because of me and that Alice and Jasper were hiding her somewhere close by. It did not help that I had very little evidence; just a coat and a scent that only I knew the importance of. Would they believe me? And if they did what would we then do? Or the more likely option, they would just think I had completely lost it. I would not blame them if they did think I had lost it you know. After all I am starting to think that myself. As I neared the edge of the forest I allowed myself to hear inside the house. Emmet was still trying to calm Rose down, whilst she was ready to rip my head off (maybe I should avoid her for a while). Esme was trying to stay calm, but I could tell by her thoughts she was worried. And Carlisle, he knew I was close by, I could tell this by the way he was reciting some of Shakespeare's sonnets. I did not want to, but I knew I had to talk to him before seeing anyone else.

I went to the back of the house to see if his study window was open. It was, he was probably expecting me, I thought as a made the simple leap into his study landing silently.

"Where the hell have you been?" Carlisle asked me in a harsh whisper "we thought you would be back hours ago, Esme has been worried out of her mind, she thought you might have left for good."

"I know I'm sorry I just got a bit sidetracked" I said even quieter than Carlisle had knowing fully well that he could hear me. Most probably the rest of the house could too.

"Sidetracked! How can you get sidetracked for over eight hours whilst hunting? I know you've been through a lot lately but you have no idea how worried we were" We can not cope with losing you" he said staring at the floor, and adding silently "not again" at that I felt a twinge of guilt I knew I had hurt them when I left but, not this much. Ever since that incident all those years ago, Carlisle never brought it up. Just by those two simple silent words I knew I could not leave again. No matter how much pain it could end up causing me.

What was I supposed to say? That I thought Alice and Jasper had Bella, who was now a vampire because of me, and were currently hiding out close by? I could not tell anyone that even Carlisle, they would think I was mad.

"I…I caught a trail, and it seemed quite recent, it was Alice and Jasper, I thought they might be close so I went to see if I could track them" I partially lied , not quiet looking Carlisle in they eye.

"But as you can see I was unsuccessful, the trail just ended about 80nmiles away from the house." I knew I should tell Carlisle the truth but I was not ready, not yet at any rate.

"Oh…okay…" said a slight stunned Carlisle "well as long as you're ok. But next time can you call one of us please, we were worried. All of us were." It really is amazing how the oldest and wisest of our family could be so thick sometimes. It as obvious a certain member of the family, not wanting to mention any names, but she would be very please if I were to leave and never return.

As I left Carlisle's study and headed straight to my room I caught my reflection in the mirror. I was appalled my appearance or specifically my eyes. My eyes although now topaz again still had a reddish tint to them. And unfortunately the colour of ones eyes does not undo the terrible deed I had committed. For I may have forced this existence onto another person. I would never wish it upon anyone. If I could become human again I would in a heart beat.

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**I know it is quiet a short one but have been busy with exams and they are still not over :-(. Please Review - I love to hear any feedback.**

**Also please read my other stories: Morte Prima Del Mezzogiorno - The Edward Cullen Diaries - The Wedding.**


	11. 10 YOU

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Chapter 10

_(Edward's Point of View)_

I was walking home, even though I could have quiet easily driven or run. But I wanted some time alone, with no humans or vampires around. It had been a long day at school, I had been getting strange looks of the few people who looked my way, and I had not seen Rose and Emmett all day even though I know they had been there, they had obviously been avoiding me. I had been on my own all day, which to be honest I preferred. It had left me alone with my thoughts for the day, which although dangerous at the moment was what I wanted. It had almost been a month since I had attacked Bella at school, and I had found out that it had been presumed that she had run away. Her mother Renee and her husband Phil had come to Forks the day after I had left. And along with Charlie, had been around Forks and anywhere within a 20 mile radius putting up missing posters. I was finding it very hard at the moment to be in the town or go to school, as when ever I saw one of those posters I felt a pang of guilt run through me. I wanted to run away again until this was over, but I could not do that to my family again. I had been avoiding going hunting in case I saw or smelt anything else; but I had not caught anymore scents in the forest or seen anything that could backup my theory. But could that be better, would it be better that she was dead and not a vampire? As why would anyone what this existence of ours?

Very little had changed in our family since I had returned, Rosalie was still think of ways to get me to leave ,and Emmett was… well Emmett, making loads of inappropriate jokes at just the wrong time. Esme was still worrying about me which I could understand, no one said anything but they were avoiding me more than ever, even the people at school would not even look at me as if they knew what had happened but would not say anything. And Carlisle was the opposite too everyone else, he was keeping a close eye on me, trying to do it subtly but not very well. The house was unnervingly quiet with Alice and Jasper. I missed the life they had brought to our lives. I missed Alice's screams of joy as she found a way to get a new pair of shoes delivered the same day. I missed hearing Jasper reminiscent thoughts about his old life. I even missed the make over's Alice would insist on giving me, not that I would ever admit that to anyone else.

Got home and saw Emmett giant truck parked in the drive, so they had to be back already. Upon entering the house I noticed that Emmett and Rosalie were crashed out on the couch watching telly.

"Hey, Ed. God how slow do you walk? School ended like an hour ago!" Said Emmett looking at me over Rosalie's shoulder. She hardly acknowledged my presence and was as still as a stature glaring at the TV, whilst hurling a string of silent profanities at me.

"Oh, yer I just need some time alone." I mumbled heading up stairs to my room, not glancing back.

Four hours must have passed when I heard Carlisle return home from the hospital. From my room I could hear Esme great him home and Carlisle spiriting to his office to drop off his bag and then to his room to get changed. About 10 minutes after Carlisle return Emmett bellowed at me from down stairs.

"Hey, Eddie we're going hunting, you coming?" Oh how I despise that name.

"No Emmett, I don't want to come. I'll see you when you get back."

"See ya" yelled Emmett.

"We'll be back soon" said the ever caring Esme.

"Bye" called Carlisle.

And as I expected noting from Rose, at least she's given up her silent verb attack on me, I mused grimly. They had only been gone about 5 minutes when I heard a sudden commotion in the front yard; they had obviously not got very far.

"OH. MY. GOD. ALICE!!!" I heard Rosalie screech. Alice? It took a second for that to sink in. Were they back? I sped down the stairs and through the front door only to find a very confusing scene in front of the house. Esme was dry sobbing whilst hugging someone. Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper we bent double in laughter at Rosalie and Alice's reunion. Alice and Rosalie were currently hugging whilst bounding on the spot and talking so hurriedly I could hardly catch what they were saying. When the girls finally stopped bouncing and the guys had recovered from their laughing, Carlisle had to pry Esme off the girl she had been crying over. As soon as I saw who it was I just stood there. I mean what could I say or do. I had been right.

"YOU!!" she screached, pointing an accusing finger at me.

I continued to stand there mouth open for a few seconds, until I felt something hit me on the head. I looked in the direction it had come and apparently Emmett had chucked a stone at me. Who was now for that being wacked by Alice.

"Erm… H…Hi…Bel…Bella…" I stammered.

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**Had to have Bella come back, been unsure how to have her come back for some time and just liked this one. What do you think??? But will Bella and Edward ever be together? I'm not sure yet. I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter as I currently have not idea what will happen next. Any ideas??? Please Review, love to hear any feedbacl or ideas. _(Reviews make me write faster.)_**


	12. 11 The Reason

Chapter 11 

Everyone had gone inside and I was left standing on the porch, staring into the distance dumbfounded. There were millions of questions I wanted to ask, but I knew I would have to wait for the answers I so desperately seek. But mainly I wanted to know why they had so suddenly reappeared without telling us? Did they think we would not want them back? Or did they need our help? Normally I would know the answers but Jasper and Alice were blocking their thoughts from me, by recalling their night alone together, I got out and stayed out of their heads after that. I did not want to but knew if I wanted any answers I would have to go inside, where she would be and hope she would not tear me limb from limb. But could I blame her if she did? After all I am the reason she is like this. I tried to calm myself down before I went inside; I had to talk to Alice alone. I stood facing the door for a few brief seconds before marching into the house. As soon as I entered the room it went silent, and even though I had kept my eyes on the floor I could feel the eyes of the room's occupants boring into me as I stood there.

"Alice, can I talk to you please" I said, not looking up from the floor. As she started to follow me Bella grabbed her arm stopping her.

"It's ok, I won't be long" Alice said reassuringly to Bella, whilst stealing a glace over to Jasper who ever so slightly nodded. Then everyone in the room felt a wave a calm roll over them and Bella grudgingly let go of Alice's arm. We exited the house in silence, I was sure Alice and everyone inside knew what I wanted, but I still did not want to be overheard. So Alice continued to follow me until we were deep in the forest, and well out of ear shot of the house in a small clearing.

"Look..." we both said at the same time facing each other.

"Alice..." I started again "why didn't you tell us? I really could have used a warning today"

"Look Edward, I'm sorry. We should have told you earlier, I honestly don't know why we didn't. And today there was no time to give you a warning, otherwise we would have. As when we were out hunting Bella caught your scent. It was something new to her and she just stopped mid hunt and followed the trail back to the house. It was amazing how she just ignored her instincts. Anyway we could not catch her, she is very fast, almost as fast as you I'd say."

"Where have you been hiding? A few weeks ago I caught her scent and found her jacket, but the trail just ended when I tried to follow it"

"You know Summer Hill? It's about 10 miles north of here. Well there is a small cave system in it that I found last year and never told anyone else about. I thought it could be useful and apparently I was right" said a slightly smug looking Alice.

"Yer, I know it. Does she have any... powers?" I asked slowly

"No, well at least none that we've found out about yet. Why?" asked a confused looking Alice. Should I tell her? Would she just laugh at me?

"Well, when I was in Denali I felt strange, it was like I had left something behind, something important. But when I returned this feeling did not go away, it only intensified. Like whatever it was, was close but still out of reach. Yet just then when I, saw Bella that feeling left me for the first time in the month I have been feeling like this." Alice was looking at me quizzically, well at least she wasn't laughing at me like I had feared.

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**Yes I know it is short but I also know people wanted to know what happens next - Bella and Edward still haven't talked properly and you may have to wait a few chapters for them to (aren't I mean - lol). Will aim to get the next chapter out by tomorrow, but no promises. Please Review – all your great reviews help me write faster.**


	13. 12 Watching

Chapter 12

_(Meanwhile - Bella's Point of View)_

I can not believe Alice did not tell me that, that monster is her brother. What was she thinking, why didn't she stop me from coming here. And Jasper I could trust him, I thought he would tell me, but no. When I asked who did this to me they acted all innocent and said they were not sure. When Alice gets back she is so dead. I wonder what they are talking about anyway, I thought as I headed out the house to follow them. Following them was easier than I thought it would be, I recognised Alice's scent easily but the other one Edward's was amazing intoxicating, I could have just stood there all day soaking it up, but I had to find out what they were talking about and I knew Alice would not tell me.

I followed them into the forest and to a small clearing; staying just within ear shot. I could just about hear them so decided to go a bit closer by climbing one of the trees. By the time I could hear and see them Edward was talking

"and found her jacket, but the trail just ended when I tried to follow it"

"You know Summer Hill? It's about 10 miles north of here. Well there is a small cave system in it that I found last year and never told anyone else about. I thought it could be useful and apparently I was right" said Alice.

"Yer, I know it. Does she have any... powers?" why would he want to know about that? It doesn't matter it's not like I have any anyway.

"No, well at least none that we've found out about yet. Why?" asked a confused looking Alice.

"Well, when I was in Denali I felt strange, it was like I had left something behind, something important. But when I returned this feeling did not go away, it only intensified. Like whatever it was, was close but still out of reach. Yet just then when I, saw Bella that feeling left me for the first time in the month I have been feeling like this." Alice just stood looking quizzically at Edward who looked relieved. And then what he was saying hit me, causing me to almost fall out of the tree I was hiding in. He couldn't really mean it, could he? I mean he didn't know me, and anyway I thought he hated me why else would he attacked me? I stood there in silence still watching them below me. I should head back to the house; I really don't want them to know I was watching them. But as I tried to pull myself away I found myself even more drawn to them. I couldn't leave; there was something about Edward that made me want to be in his presence. OH! GOD! I really hope what I think is happening isn't happening. At that thought I ripped myself away and silently descended the tree and sprinted back to the house, and started planning. I had to do something, something to make him hate me, just encase my suspicions were right. I should hate him, despise him for doing this to me but I don't, no I can't. So if I could not hate him, he would have to hate me.

I burst in through the front door looking around, at first glance I thought the house was empty, but them I heard someone tapping away on the computer, it was Emmett. I dashed over to see him.

"Hi Emmett, Where's everyone gone?" I asked still looking around.

"Hey Bells, they went shopping. Apparently Alice left a list with Jasper of stuff for you and they left a few minutes ago to get it. I must say I am amazed, this is the first time ever Alice has passed on the opportunity to go shopping." Emmett said grinning widely. Oh no, why couldn't Alice let me choose my own stuff, I'm not a child.

"Great" I said sarcastically. Then I heard Alice and Edward returning up the drive "if they ask I never left the house ok Emmett" I said quickly in a hushed and pleading tone.

"Sure thing" Emmett said turning back to the computer. I really hope they don't find out, what would I say? As they came in through the back door we heard Alice call,

"Hey Bella Emmett, what you two been up to?"

"Hi Alice" I said not meeting her eye "haven't done much just been on the computer with Emmett"

"Yep, and Bella's been here the whole time, she never left, not once" Oh you have got to be kidding me Emmett what the hell did I just say? I really will have to have a talk with him at some point. Jasper had been right when he said Emmett could be slow sometimes, and I thought he had been exaggerating.

"Right, thanks for that Emmett" said a highly amused looking Alice, whilst Edward just stood in the corner gazing knowingly at me, it was very irritating.

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**PLEASE REVIEW**** – it helps me write faster, also any ideas how Bella can try to get Edward to hate her? I have a few ideas but there not great. **

**[Will try to get next chapter out by tomorrow, but again no promises.]**

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**I know have a website. Please visit it for previews, future ideas and to get in contact with me. **

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	14. 13 Like Glue

Chapter 13

_(Bella's Point of View)_

After dashing upstairs to my room I let the embarrassment envelope me, why couldn't Emmett just have kept his big mouth shut? Thankfully Alice thought her brother was just being weird, but Edward… Oh Edward with his naturally messy hair and mesmerizing topaz eyes… I stopped there and had to mentally slap myself, I will not like him, I can't I should hate him for what he did, but I can't. Well Edward knew I was sure of it, the way he looked knowingly at me, would he tell Alice? What did he think of me for spying on them? Would he hate me? Part of me wants him to, but the other part of me wants to be with him. Ok so I can't hate him, he will hate me, and I will make him hate me. I had had a few ideas when running back earlier, it had to be something to do with his car, probably the Vanquish – Jasper had told me how much he loves it. Or there is also his music, it doesn't take an idiot to see he loves music; it is practically all he has in his room. The I had it, this idea would make him flip, I was still planning when I raced down the stairs and into the garage to look for some paint and glue. It did not take long before I found what I was looking for; there was plenty of paint to choose from but which colour? Then I saw it, a tin of Barbie pink paint with glitter in, that would be perfect. A few minutes later I had the paint and glue and went back into the house to start putting my plan into action.

_A few hours later (Edward's Point of View) _

I had spent the whole afternoon playing on the Xbox with Emmett and Jasper, although I was only there in body. My mind had been upstairs trying to figure out what Bella was doing. Every so often we would hear and thud then Bella would start cursing under her breath whilst running to the bathroom. I could not figure her out, this was very frustrating but also a quality I found endearing in her. She was unlike anyone I had every met, mainly because I could not hear her thoughts. That was a new experience for me; I could read everyone before she showed up, what did it mean? Was it her power? If it was it would explain why Alice and Jasper never found one.

I headed upstairs after playing video games with my brothers for the last 4 hours intending to listen to some music to try and calm me down. I couldn't work Bella out, no matter how hard I tried. I pulled a CD at random off the shelves, as I opened the case and tried to take the CD out of its case I found I couldn't. I stood there looking at the case for a moment trying to work out what was wrong. I then took another CD of the shelves and had the same problem, I did this a few time and it was the same with every CD. As I looked closer at the CD I found glue on it, someone had glued all my CD's into their cases. It had to be Emmett, this is the sort of thing he finds funny.

"EMMETT!" I yelled down the stairs, within seconds Emmett was by my side. "Why? Just tell me why you did this." I said holding the destroyed CD up. Emmett just stood there like I had gone mad.

"Why do you always assume I did it? Whenever something happens everyone always blames me,…"

"that's because it usually was you dear" Rosalie called from her room.

"…it's not fair. Anyway I did not do that" Emmett continued ignoring Rosalie's comment.

"Well if you didn't do it who did?" Emmett just stood there for a few seconds shrugged and went back to playing video games with Jasper.

_(Bella's Point of View)_

Oh great, he thinks Emmett did it. If he thinks that about the car how will I ever get him to hate me. I've seen the way he looks at me I'm sure he knows how I feel, I can't let anything happen. No matter how much I want things to happen.

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**This is just one of the ways Bella trys to make Edward hate her, how did you like it? I'm not sure about it but was a bit stuck for ideas, so please give me some. Again will try to get next chapter out by tomorrow. PLEASE REVIEW - I would like to have 84 reviews before I post the next chapter. So only need 3 more reviews.**

**_To see a preview of the next chapter go to my new site - rach260. yolasite. com/_**


	15. 14 Barbie Pink

**If you read this chapter don't forget to review!**

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Chapter 14

_[Edward's Point Of View]_

I still hadn't found out who destroyed all my CD's, but I still think it was Emmett. It does not matter too much though; it's just annoying more than anything. I was on the computer ordering all the CD's that had been ruined when I first noticed it. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, it had been painted Barbie pink and had glitter on it, but I still recognised it instantly. Whoever did this is so dead. I sprinted outside to it, hoping my eyes were playing tricks, even though I knew that to be impossible.

_[Bella's Point Of View]_

I was hiding at the edge of the forest waiting, when I saw him he was running out of the house, not even pausing to open the door. He just stood there starring in disbelief at his 'baby' as I had heard him refer to it. After a few long second he collapsed to the ground and started... was he crying? At that a wave of guilt hit me like a ton of rocks, I tried to ignore it but the feeling would not go away. He just sat there on the ground not moving. I really don't get him; I mean it's just a car. Ok so it's an expensive... no scrap that, it's a very expensive car, but it is still just a car. Seeing him there looking so hurt and vulnerable made me think I should have left the Vanquish alone and done this to the Volvo. But it's to late know and anyway this is nothing compared to what he has done to me. Also I am sure it will have the desired effect that is as long as he thinks I did it this time. But do I still want that, do I want him to hate me?

_[Edward's Point Of View]_

"EMMETT! JASPER! ROSE! ALICE! CARLISLE! ESME!..." I yelled once I had recovered enough from the original shock, at the last name a small smile spread across my face catching me off guard "...Bella" Within seconds my 'family' was standing outside. They were all looking at me confusedly, all except Emmett and Bella. Emmett looked like he might explode with the effort he was putting in to not laugh, and Bella was looking at the car innocently, too innocently and see was obviously avoiding my gaze. "Who did that?" I said weakly pointing at my car, everyone instantly looked at Emmett.

"What?" Emmett whined "I didn't do that, why would I?" It was obvious no one believed him "What? I swear it was not me. I was with Jasper all afternoon anyway, so when could I have done that?"

"Bella…" I started before she cut me off.

"Yes, I did it and don't you dare ask me why, after what you did to me that…" she screeched pointing a quivering finger and my car "is nothing!" I just stood there stunned my her words.

"Yer, sorry Edward, but she does have a point. After what…" Carlisle said silently.

"I know ok! I know, so don't you start" I snapped back at him. After that everyone slowly went back to the house, except Alice.

"I can see it you know, the way you look at her. Just because no one else has seen it does not mean it's not there. Anyway I know she feels the same way. Just talk to her" Alice whispered.

"No she doesn't, why would she?" I down heartedly grumbled.

"Trust me, I've seen it." At that my head snapped up, what had she seen? But she was already in the house before I could ask her. Should I take her advice and try to talk to Bella? What have I got to lose anymore? "Only your heart" a small voice in my head said, which I forced back. If she did feel the same and I did nothing about it I would regret it. Anyway what's the worst that she can do? "Reject you" that small voice said, causing a lump to rise in my throat. I have to try even if she does reject me, I can't not try.

I collected my thoughts and marched more confidently that I felt up to the house. Only to be greeted by a grim looking Esme.

"You will fix this now!" she ordered, pointing at the door I had run through earlier. I wanted to argue, but I really was in no position to. It did not take long to fix, but I knew it would not hold so I would have to go to town to buy a new door. But that could wait; I had to talk to Bella.

I could hear Bella quarrelling with Alice, from the sound of it Alice wanted to paint Bella's room baby pink and white, which was nothing like Bella wanted. I stood at the top of the stairs just listening to her musical voice barely hearing the words. It really was pointless her arguing with Alice, she always got her way in the end. I entered the room silently, as soon Alice saw me a wide grin spread across her face.

"What the hell are you grinning at?" an annoyed Bella asked still wound-up from their argument, then she turned around and saw me "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"I…I want to talk to you." _Please say yes, please say yes._ I chanted to myself.

"Fine, what do you want?" _She said yes._ Relief spread over me.

"Alone" I said looking at Alice, who looked disappointedly at me and trudged out of the room.

"Bella, I want…I wanted to…"

"Yes" she said impatiently.

"I wanted to apologise for doing this to you. I should have tried harder to control that side of me. I will never be able to tell you how truly sorry I am. And I realise how unlikely it is but I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me. And I don't care about what you did to my car and I'm guessing my CD's as well, they are only possessions and compared to your life meant nothing" Should I tell her how I truly feel? This could be my only chance. "I don't know how to say this but I have to, so I'm just going to come right out and say it. I have… I have feelings for you. I don't know what they are exactly; they are new for me I have never felt this way about anyone before. But I do know that when I am around you I feel more complete that I have ever done in this existence or my previous life." I tried to but I couldn't look at her fearing her response, so instead I stared at my shoes "I just thought you should know." I smiled weekly. How would she take this bomb shell I had just dropped on her. I wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again, would I be able to handle that? At the very least I hoped she would be able to find it in her heart to forgive me, and do I dare hope she shares my feelings? Alice did say she did, and Alice is never wrong but there's a first time for everything.

_[Bella's Point of View]_

"Edward, I… I don't know what to say…" What was I meant to say, he had just confessed his love for me. Something which was something deep down I longed for but would not allow myself. Should I give in and have what I desired? Or should I rebuff his advances? "If only you knew how I felt Edward, if only…"

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**I will be unable to update any of my stories after 8th June for up to 2 weeks because I will be away, sorry. But I hoped you liked this chapter, which way do you think Bella will go? Please Review – the more reviews the longer the next chapter will be. **

**If you have any idea's for chapter please contact me via PM or my email address which is on my new site – http:// rach260. yolasite. com/**


	16. 15 Charlie

**SORRY BUT WON'T BE ABLE TO UPDATE FOR A WHILE AS I HAVE LOST MY PEN DRIVE WHICH HAD THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS ON SO HAVE TO RE-WRITE THEM**

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Chapter 15

_[Bella's Point of View]_

I had been a vampire for a few months know and had managed to refuse human blood. So Carlisle thought I should be safe to be around a few humans. Apparently it is easier to resist the blood of a human if it is a blood relative, which is why we were on our way to visit Charlie. I had no idea what I was going to tell him, after all I had just disappeared a few months ago without a trace. He was going to be furious. And how was I meant to explain why I had the entire Cullen family with me and my change in appearance? This was going to be an interesting visit to say the least.

"Bella, will you please calm down. Between your worrying, Alice's frustration, and Edwards… and Edward I just can't think straight with all these strong emotions bombarding me right know!" Complained Jasper from the front seat; his knuckles even whiter than normal from gripping the steering wheel.

"Sorry Jasper, but I can't help it." I grumbled inaudibly, or at least it would have been if we weren't all vampires. We sat in silence for the rest of the drive to Charlie's; I could tell everyone was nervous about what might happen. Thankfully after another 15 minutes our journey was over, lucky for Alice otherwise I might have had to through her out of the car. The way she kept looking at me to Edward quizzically was only worsening the tension I felt. But I knew it was my fault I never told her what happened between us last night and apparently Edward had said nothing either. As I got out of the car Carlisle pulled up with Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett.

Bella, Carlisle wants you" Said Edward avoiding my gaze, before Carlisle had even got out of the car.

"I know this will be hard, but trust me you can do this. Now I realise Charlie will want to know what has happened to you so we've been thinking about it for some time. We think it would be best if you act like you don't know who he is, like you have amnesia. You will also need to act like you're scared of staying with him when we say you can stay here, ok? We will say we only just found you an hour or so ago in the forest. That way Charlie will know you are alive but hopefully won't force you to stay with him, you could say you feel safe with use or something along those lines and that you want to stay with us. It will be hard, I understand that but it is for the best. Do you think you can do this for me?" Carlisle was right, it would be hard. It would hurt me, but I knew it would hurt Charlie more. But he was also right that this was the best way to deal with this unusually situation. It would hurt but I have to do it. I could do this; all I had to do was act scared (and ignore the fire starting to burn in the back of my throat). Act like I should be acting around him, the one I… no, I must not think of him. I thought standing on the porch behind Carlisle and Esme, with Emmet keeping a tight grip on my wrist and the others ready to pull me back, just in case. As the door opened the burning in the back of my throat increased but I ignored it. I was hidden behind Carlisle but I knew it was Charlie at the door.

"Hello Charlie, would you mind if we came in? We have some news for you." Asked Esme in her gentlest voice.

"No, why not, come on in." Said a very sullen Charlie walking back to the living room. This was going to be hard. We followed him into small living room; thankfully someone left the front door open allowing the occasional breeze of fresh air in.

"Charlie, please try to stay calm" started Carlisle, of course that made him panic almost instantly "we've found Bella, but…"

"You found her! Where is she? Is she ok? Can I see her?" Cut in Charlie jumping out of the chair he had been slumped in.

"She's ok, but different and I believe she has amnesia. She does not recall this town or even this house." Then Carlisle took a step sideways so Charlie could see me. There were so many emotions flashing across Charlie's face; surprise, shock, fear, amazement, sadness, joy, and finally settling on relief.

"B…Bella?" Charlie stuttered in total astonishment. All I wanted to do was run up to him and give him a hug, it had been so long too long since I'd last seen him, but I knew I couldn't. So I had to put on my best 'who-the-hell-are-you' face, looking around nervously at the Cullen's.

"I'm sure you would like to be alone together for a while so we will go if you like." Said Carlisle watching me wearily, obviously wanting to speed things up. So this was it, I would only get to see Charlie for a few brief minutes then I would be pulled out just encase my instincts got the better of me. I looked over to Charlie who had the largest grin on his face I had ever seen. Could I do this? Hurt him again? But what choice did I have.

"NO" I blurted out without thinking, and grabbed someone's arm.

"It's ok Bella, your safe here. This is your home." Said Charlie his smile shrinking by a couple of molars. I just shook my head holding onto whoever I was holding on to even harder.

"Bella are you sure?" Esme asked me. I just nodded, not trusting my voice.

"If you want she can stay with use for a while, until she feels better being here" Esme said know looking a Charlie. Charlie looking very sad, but he thought he knew it was for the best so agreed that if I wanted to stay with them I could. As long as I came back soon.

When we were back in the car heading back to the Cullen's home Alice pounced.

"So what happened between you and Edward last night? I noticed you were holding on to him pretty tightly, more than you needed to I'd say. So spill."

"Wait, back up there. It was Edward I was holding on to I didn't even notice." At least I think I didn't

"Sure, sure whatever Bella. What did you say to him? He seems so different today."

"I told him the truth" But which version? Last night was such a blur I could hardly remember what I had told him. "I told him I…"

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**HAHAHA aren't I mean another cliffy (lol). Sorry this chapter has taken for ever, but my laptop broke and deleted all my stuff so I have had to re-write all the chapters I had done.**

**PLEASE REVIEW – will post the next chapter when I have at least 104 reviews (only 15 more).**

**Oh yer and if I don't update for over a week it's because I'm going on holiday on Sat. so will update as soon as I get back. But should have next one done before.**


	17. 16 Truth and Regrets

Chapter 16 

_[Edward's Point of View]_

I didn't have to be able to read emotions like Jasper could to feel the multitude of emotions radiating off Bella. Carlisle stepped aside so Bella and Charlie could see each other, causing my family to tense just encase Bella's instincts took over. Charlie just stood there staring at her with shock plastered all over his face.

'Oh My God, what has happened to her? She looks so different and yet exactly the same. She looks more… well more like the Cullen's but that can't be possible.' Charlie thought, so he had noticed the subtle differences in her that marked her for what she now is. She was paler that before and the way she moved was more fluid, more graceful. And more beautiful, if that was even possible, for she had always been stunning in my eyes.

"B…Bella?" Charlie stuttered still in shock. Then she moved causing my family to get ready to pull her out of the house, instead she took us all by surprise (especially me) and grabbed my arm, I froze instantly at that. She really was always surprising me. I tried to not react as her grip tightened but it was so difficult. All I wanted to do was hold her and never let her go, but I couldn't. Did she even know whose arm she was hanging onto? Part of me hoped she did, but I knew deep down she had no idea it was me.

I could no longer pretend, I had to tell her how I really fell, I told her I love her but this is not true she is my everything I would gladly die for her, but she does not love me. Before she came into my life I was in my own personal winter, she is like the sun, she has warmed my heart and spread light and joy within me. When she told me she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me I tried to stay away from her but it has been so hard. When she grabbed me it was almost impossible not to hold her as she held me, but I couldn't for her no matter how much it hurt me in the process. But I have given up, given up being good and I have to tell how I truly feel even if it is not want she wants to hear, I can't help but think if she knew how much she truly meant to me she might feel something, anything for me. I can but hope.

_[Bella's Point of View]_

I had managed to get Alice off my back by promising her I would tell her everything as soon as Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were out hunting tonight, and that I would go shopping with her (I was so going to regret that). I had to talk to him before they left. Back at Charlie's house as soon as I grabbed his arm I could feel him tense, was he so disgusted by my touch? At that I could feel part of my being die; it hurt more than I thought it should. I thought that by telling him I despised him he would leave me alone, and would be ok again like before I had ever met him. I was partially right, since I had told him that he had been avoiding me, what I wanted, right? Wrong, I was dead wrong, the fact that I know had nothing to do with him hurt me more that the fire I had felt coursing thought my veins during my transformation form mortal to immortal.

I had to tell him the truth, but how was I going to get him on his own to talk to him when he was so disgusted by my presence. I walked slowly up the stairs trying to think of what to say to him; sometimes it was so inconvenient that he could not read my mind like he could everyone else. As if he could hear my mind he would have realised I truly felt right form the beginning and there would be no reason to go through with this. But I had no one to blame but myself, if I hadn't denied what we both wanted just because of something he had no control over. Something I would have most probably done if our places had been reversed, and was I that upset about my new existence I had? For the first time in my life I finally felt like I fitted in and was no longer the odd one out. Ok so maybe I didn't like the whole blood drinking part, but I finally felt like I belonged. We would be together if I hadn't been so stupid and stubborn, and that is what I really wished for.

_[Edward's Point of View]_

I was pacing in my room trying to work out how to approach Bella again after our last confrontation and her requesting (more like ordering) that I left her alone and that she had no feelings for me apart from loathing. After that how was I meant to tell her she meant more to me than my own life? That I would do anything for her and that I could not ignore her as she wished; it was just too painful for me to do.

"She's coming up to talk to you, don't ruin this! You are meant for each other." Alice silently shouted at me from her room. I could hardly believe what she had just said, Bella wanted to talk to me? Why? Had Alice seen something? If so what, did it mean I had a chance or was coming to tell me something else.

Then the panic set in, she was coming to see me which meant I had no more time to work out what I was going to say to her. There was no way I could stall for any longer, I would have to just tell her truth exactly the way I felt.

_[Bella's Point of View]_

I could hear him he was in his room, pacing from the sound of it. I could feel the nerves starting to kick in; this was going to be so much harder than I thought.

"Edward, we need to talk" I said more confidently than I felt as I walked into his room.

"Yes, we do" He agreed. At that I just turned and sprinted out of the house hoping he had followed me. We ran for a few miles until I was sure that no one else could hear us.

"Edward I…"

"Bella I…"

We both started at the same time.

"You first" Edward said staring at the floor, after an awkward pause. Ok I could do this (I think).

"Edward, I… I'msorryaboutbeforeIliedIloveyouIdon'tknowwhyIliedIjustdidI'msosorry" I said to quickly using one breath. Edward just stood there stunned into silence for a moment.

"Er, ok I know we have extremely good hearing but not that good, try again but slower." If I could blush I would be as red as a beetroot by know.

"I'm sorry about before I lied, I love you I don't know why I lied I just did I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?" _please say yes please say yes_ "I understand if you want nothing to do with me after what I…" He never gave me a chance to finish what I had been saying. As soon as what I had said sunk in he pulled me into what should have been a bone crushing hug (if I could break my bones that is). "Should I take that as a yes then?" I said through the biggest grin I had had in months.

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PLEASE REVIEW - I would like to have _120_ reviews by the time I'm back from my holiday (I leave on sat and should be back next sat so no more updates till then at the earliest - sorry) Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	18. What Alice Saw 1

1 What Alice Saw

_[Alice's Point of View]_

"Disculpe, ¿Cuándo sale el próximo tren a Madrid?" Miss Goldsberry droned on during the last Spanish class of the week. I couldn't wait for it to be over as lately I had been seeing a girl, I would only glance her for a second then she would change. She would look normal one second, then she would look the same but different, she would look more like one of us. This had to b something to do with my family, but what?

"Gracias, ¿sabes cuánto cuesta un billete de primera…" I never heard the end of the class; I was seeing something very different from the mundane classroom before me. I saw the corridor outside the biology classroom, there was a fuzzy shape that as I concentrated became clearer, it was her again but she was not alone, Edward was with her. He had her in an iron grip, his head bent over her neck as if he was kissing her. Then I noticed the blood running down her limp frame.

I grabbed my stuff and sprinted out into the corridor, muttering something about being ill in the vague direction of Miss Goldsberry. I had to get Jaz, Rose, and Emmett we could not let this happen. Thankfully they were all in the same class, so after some convincing Mr Giles let them go, believing we had a family emergency, which was sort of true.

"Ok Alice, will you please explain why you just dragged us out of our class" Rose hissed at me, the others staring at me incredulously.

"I saw Edward, he had killed a girl. We have to stop him." I whispered back, a low growl escaped Emmett as he a Jaz turned and raced through the school to Edward's class. After a short second Rose and I followed hoping we would be in time to stop him.

We rounded the corner and crashed into Jaz and Emmett who were just standing there like a couple of idiots. We had not been in time, the scene I had seen just seconds ago was know being played out for real and there was little we could do now.

Rose and Emmett went up to Edward and forced him off the girl and pressed him against the wall whilst he struggled to get free and snarled at them. Jaz was trying to calm him down and was not being very successful, whilst I checked the girl to see if she was still alive.

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**Ok so I know it's short but I wrote it in about 10mins and anyway I liked it. This will be the last post for a while as I am leaving in about ½ hour for my holiday. Will update as soon as possible. ****PLEASE REVIEW**** - would love to get back and find I have 130 reviews (only another 16). **


	19. 17 Joy

Chapter 17

_[Edward's Point of View]_

I could hear her slowly ascending the stairs as I paced my in room, hesitating at the top I feared she may change her mind and leave. There were so many things I wanted to tell her, but I feared her reaction.

"Edward, we need to talk" She said confidently as she matched through the open door. Even though she was acting confident I could see through her mask, she was scared. Of what though? Me?

"Yes, we do" I agreed, sounding a lot less apprehensive than I should be. At that Bella turned and ran down the stairs, out of the house, and into the forest. I followed her, not because she had asked me to but because I could not stand to be parted from her. We ran for a few miles, presumably until Bella was sure no one from the house could hear us.

"Bella I…" I started at time same time as she said,

"Edward I…" she turned from me embarrassed.

"You first" I whispered staring at the floor, after an awkward pause.

"Edward, I… I'msorryaboutbeforeIliedIloveyouIdon'tknowwhyIliedIjustdidI'msosorry" Bella said using one breath, so quickly that I only caught the odd word. I just stood there for a second trying to figure out what she had just said. From her garbled speech all I had caught was "sorry…lied…you…so" so I had no idea what she was on about. It was so inconvenient that I could not hear her mind, of all people why her?

"Er, ok I know we have extremely good hearing but not that good, try again but slower." I said after trying and failing to work out what she had just told me.

"I'm sorry about before I lied, I love you I don't know why I lied I just did I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?" She lied?... "I understand if you want nothing to do with me after what I…" Then what she was saying sunk in, she lied, Bella did not despise me like she said before. She loved me? She really loved me? Could this be true? I felt as if all my dreams had true in that single second it took to work out what she was saying. I couldn't stop myself, I grabbed Bella and embraced her never wanting to let go.

"Should I take that as a yes then?" Bella said through the biggest grin I had ever seen on her face. It made me so happy that I was the cause of her overwhelming joy and for the first time in so so long I felt the joy she was experiencing as well.

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**I know it's short but I've been busy (promise the next 1 will be longer). But what you thing of it???? Just to let you know I am getting the feeling this story is coming to an end but will try to think of a way to make it longer (or possibly a sequel – only if that's what people want, so tell me what you think) Will try to get the next chapter out soon, seeing as I'm know on my summer holidays I actually had time to write (YAY!). Anyway ****PLEASE REVIEW**** – would love to get 11 more reviews, as I want to get my reviews up to 140 really. So… thanks for reading and hope you liked it.**


	20. SORRY

**_A/N_**

**Hi everyone,**

**I am sooooo sorry I have not updated for so long but my laptop broke so I have had to buy a new one, which also ment the start of the next chapter got deleted along with everyting else on it [school work, music, photos – everything]. I will try to re-write it as soon as possible. Although I am going away for a bit son so unsure when it will be out.**

**So sorry again, and will try to get it out by the weekend but no promises.**


	21. 18 Trust Me

Chapter 18 - Trust Me

_[Bella's Point of View]_

"Should I take that as a yes then?" I said as Edward held me, both of us feeling overwhelming joy.

"Yes, deferentially yes" Edward whispered. I never wanted to move again, for the first time in… well ever I was truly happy. And I don't mean the short lived fleeting happiness that disappears; I mean the lasting type the type that can never be broken. I felt stronger by it. We could have stayed that way, just holding each other for ever, we might have if I hadn't remembered… I let out a small groan.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked sounding worried.

"Oh nothing important, but I've got to go" I sighed, looking at Edward who was looking back at me quizzically "I promised Alice I would go shopping with her, god knows why. I really wish I didn't have to go" I pouted, Edward just gave me a crooked grin.

"Go then" He ordered, I just stood there confused "The sooner you go the sooner you get back… but then again with Alice and her shopping, I may not see you for a week" he chuckled.

"Very funny" I said sarcastically rolling my eyes "Come on, we'd better get back to the house before Alice puts a search party together for me." I pulled him along as we reluctantly headed back to the house.

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Two hours later I was in Alice's Porsche being driven to some shopping mall in Seattle I hadn't paid much attention to her plans, I had been to busy reflecting on what I had just done. Alice was chatting to me the entire way to the mall but I hardly heard any of what she was saying. I was still slightly in shock, I had told Edward everything, and I mean everything. I had just admitted how I truly felt about him, some of it hadn't even admitted to myself, yet alone voicing it out loud before, and I deferentially hadn't been expecting to ever tell Edward.

"…I was also thinking about burning my entire wardrobe and dyeing my hair green" Alice mussed watching me out of the corner of her eye.

"hmm, sounds good to me" I mumbled still not listening.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" Alice suddenly shouted snapping me out of my thoughts "You haven't been listening to one god dam word I've been saying have you?" She said accusingly.

"hmm… sorry, what were you saying?" I said after Alice had snapped me out of my thoughts.

"You just told me that burning my wardrobe and dyeing my hair green was a good idea. What's up with you? You haven't heard a single thing I've said since leaving the house, and you look so pale; well more pale than usual anyway." Alice was looking worried.

"I think I may have done something I am seriously going to regret... " I paused unsure whether I should tell Alice, but knowing she would get it out of me one way or another I continued reluctantly "... I told Edward I love him, which when you think about it is a completely ridiculous notion seeing as I hardly know him and I despised him when I first met him so how can I say I love him?" I looked at Alice helplessly, who was avoiding my eye.

"You know you do love him, everyone can see it. Our kind doesn't need to know someone to know they love them. Like me and Jasper we hadn't even met and I knew I was in love. Or Rose and Emmett, Rose saved him even though she did not know him there was just something about him that she fell in love with. I think you just need to trust him a bit more, I know after what happened it won't be easy but you can do it. I can see you love him, and I know he feels the same about you." She was right, and she knew it. I did love him but after all the hate I had felt for him I felt I should not let myself love him... "and anyway if you won't trust him, trust me I'm a psychic, I know how this story will end."

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**Hey, sooo sorry this chapter has not been released earlier but my laptop broke so all my work got lost have just had 2 re-write the chapter - wold have done it sooner but had to re-do a terms worth of coursework first.**

**Hope you liked it even though it was short - will try to get the next chapter out soon but i'm away for a while doin DofE Gold [fun fun fun] [NOT]. PLEASE REVIEW _[would like at least another 10 comments - so 172]._**


	22. RETURN?

Ok so I know it has been months since I last did anything with my stories by I have been in the middle of my A levels so had very little free time - I am really sorry for that.

Once my exams are over (about 10 weeks) I will start writing again, and am currently also writing a independent story which has nothing to do with any of my other stories which once finished I may turn into a podcast novel, what do you think? Should I have a go at podcasting? Or just put it on this site? And would any of you listen to it if it did become a podcast?

Ok well I've got to go now and finish my ICT coursework (fun!!! Lol)


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